The Drunk CO
by PunkPrincess145
Summary: An alternate version to how Kate and Jim broke up. No pairing really. Slight spoilers for Season 2's Rules of Engagement and Birds


Ok so this is what comes of having almost no sugar and a crazy family. An…alternate version to how Kate and Jim broke up. Slight spoilers for Season 2's _Rules of Engagement_ and _Birds. _

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"Mike, you're drunk," Kate stated simply.

"No I'm not," her boss slurred. Kate rolled her eyes. They were at the pub and Mike was definitely drunk.

"Uh guys?" she called looking over at the rest of the crew.

"Sorry Ma'am you're on your own," Charge said grinning.

"Great," Kate muttered under her breath. It was obvious that the others were enjoying this way too much. Not that she could exactly blame them. After the incident with Campbell Fulton, ET had transferred to another boat so he and Nav could officially date. Tonight was the first night in almost 2 months that his ship and the Hammersley were in port at the same time so they'd all gone out for drinks. That is, all except for the new electrical technician whose name Kate was having trouble remembering at that particular moment. Although that was less due to the fact that she was having one of those nights (day as well really) and more to do with the extremely drunk CO now slung over her shoulders. Not to mention the fact that she had a suspicion that his hand was slowly creeping closer to her chest instead of touching her shoulder where she'd put it.

"Mike," she warned softly.

"You're no fun," Mike pouted.

"Oh stop being a three year old already," Kate scolded. "Do us all a favour and act your age." Somehow she managed to maneuver him out to her car. That was before he tripped over the piece of wood that someone had left on the sidewalk and pulled her down with him. Fortunately she landed on top of him. Unfortunately he thought she had ended up there willingly. Also unfortunately the crew were still watching them.

"Mike get up!" Kate hissed, forgetting that she was on top of him.

"Can't babe," he grinned.

"What was that?" ET yelled out. "Babe?"

"Nikki do me a favour and make your boyfriend shut up!" Kate yelled to her friend. Nav just laughed. Kate tried to move.

"Mike at least let me go," she said firmly. He reluctantly did so and she rolled off him before getting to her feet.

"Now will you get up?" she asked extending her hand. He took it and pulled himself to his feet before stumbling. Kate slung his arm around her shoulder again before opening the door (with some difficulty) and getting him in. By the time she got into the drivers seat and the car started Mike was half asleep.

"Great," she muttered before pulling out of the parking lot. She was halfway home before she realised that she had no idea if Mike was still in the same apartment as he had been while she was in the Academy.

"Mike?" she asked loudly before glancing at the passenger's seat and sighing. Her boss was totally out of it.

"Looks like you're going home with me then," she said out loud as she turned into her driveway. Fortunately she had managed to actually buy a proper house when she had arrived in the city. At least she had a spare room. She had a lot of difficulty getting him out of the car, even after he woke up halfway and she almost dropped him when she tried to open her front door. He slumped down in the front hallway and Kate knew that in his present state there was no way that she was going to be able to get him up.

"Should I?" she muttered to herself remembering a prank that he had pulled on her when they had first met. She grinned and moved into the kitchen. When she returned Mike was still asleep.

"Mike wake up!" she called loudly. There was no response, unless you counted the small groan and the repositioning of his body. She didn't.

"Mike," she called in a singsong voice. When nothing happened she pulled his shirt up so she could see his stomach. He didn't move. At the exact same time she tipped the glass of ice-cold water over his head and dropped the ice-cubes on his stomach. That woke him up.

"AHHHH!" he yelled as he sprung to his feet before he (predictably) stumbled and (once again predictably) tripped over the small table that was by her front door and falling back to the floor.

"That worked better than I expected," Kate observed with amusement. She was leaning against the wall.

"Very funny Kate," Mike sighed. "Mind helping me up?" Kate pushed herself away from the wall and held her hand up, this time supporting him when he stood. She helped him to the spare room.

"What are you doing exactly?" he asked.

"And you say I'm blonde," Kate said. "Fine let me make this simple for you. You got drunk at the bar and passed out in my car. You couldn't tell me where you lived and I have no idea so I brought you here. Oh and I'm not going out again tonight." Mike looked confused, trying to take it in.

"Fine," he growled finally, lying down. Kate smirked and walked out of the room.

"Men," she sighed walking into the front room as the doorbell rang. She checked her watch.

"Who would be coming over at 21:30 on a Wednesday night?" she muttered, automatically converting the 12 hour analog clock to 24 hour time. She pulled open the door to see her boyfriend standing there.

"Hey," she said leaning against the door frame.

"Hey," he said reaching out to tuck the evasive strand of hair behind her ear. "Mind if I come in?" Kate opened her mouth to say yes, but then thought better of it.

"Jim, Mike got drunk tonight at the bar. He's kinda staying in my spare room tonight," she explained. Jim shook his head.

"Kate…"was all he said before he walked away. Kate slowly shut the door behind him. She didn't need anything more. Sometimes she hated her name. It was all any guy said, especially the ones who she'd tried to forget Mike with. Tried to forget his kiss, his touch his voice. and then Commander Marshall had thrown that all into uproar. Oh well. Time to find someone else who didn't remind her of him.

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Ok this has got to be the longest one-shot that I have written yet. Reviews make me happy!


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